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Thursday, April 26th, 2007
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10:48 am - Shear Genius. Seriously.
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I'm not as big a fan of reality tv as it seems like I would be. I don't watch American Idol or Dancing With The Stars or America's Fattest Fatties, or whatever new reality show is out this week. In fact, the only reality shows I ever watch are Project Runway and America's Next Top Model.
But now you can add Bravo's new Wednesday night show - Shear Genius - to the list. I often truly think that I missed my true calling in life and that I never should have bothered with law school, and instead should have become a hair dresser. I fucking love hair. I love playing with it, washing it, talking about it (seriously - I'll talk about hair with anyone for waaayyy longer than they actually want to). When I read magazines and watch tv the first thing I notice is whether I like a particular hairstyle or haircut, or not. I've tried almost every hair product known to man. I mean, I really really love hair.
So, with Shear Genius, it's like Bravo performed some brain scan on me while I was sleeping, projected my thoughts into a computer chip, and the computer regurgitated Shear Genius. Hey, it could have happened - I'm a really deep sleeper. The premise of the show is simple: A group of stylists, from various backgrounds, get weekly tasks and they're judged on technique, execution and either originality or following instructions. But this simple description fails to capture the pure joy the show can elicit from me when I see them mixing dyes and giving a mannequin head a blow-out.
There are other little things about the show that I love as well. For example, I am endlessly amused by the fact that one of the contestants is a man in his 30s who calls himself "Dr. Boogie" (and when I say "calls himself," I mean that for the purposes of the show, this is his official name - it appears on the bottom of the screen when he gives an interview or confessional) whose shtick is that he wears scrubs. Get it? Like he's a Doctor. Of hair.
Second, I love the fact that there are celebrities in the hair world. One of the judges is Sally Hershberger, who "invented" the shag haircut made so famous by Meg Ryan. Does it matter that Sally looks like she styled her own hair with a weed-whacker and a Flowbee? Not at all. These people look up to her like she's the Messiah. And Sally is just one of the many famous hairstylists who appear as judges on the show; and ALL of the contestants know who these stylists are.
Third, the big task every week involves a real model with a real hair and real human feelings. I admit that they sign up for a certain level of... let's say judgment when they agree to be on such a show. However, after the hair runway when they're sitting with their stylists and the judges are asking questions, it's as if the judges don't understand that these women are REAL and THEY CAN HEAR YOU. Perhaps I'm not the right person to judge the level of damage it could do to a girl to hear a professional (and famous) stylist say something like, "Well she looks just awful. How do you think she's going to feel when she wakes up tomorrow morning and sees herself in the bathroom mirror?" (after all, until I found my current - brilliant - stylist, I used to cry after every single haircut); but I would imagine that could lead to some self-esteem issues in even the hardiest of girls. And yet, I love every minute of it.
I'm not saying that Shear Genius is going to turn me into a reality tv convert. I've been down that road, and I didn't like where it led. But I *am* saying that if you call me between 9 and 10 pm (central standard time) on Wednesday nights, I'm probably not going to answer.
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| Sunday, March 25th, 2007
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8:01 pm - Best Weekend Ever
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And I'm so sad it's over. Caroline's and Brandon's wedding was the most fun I've had in as long as I can remember. It was *so* great to see so many people, the food was good, the cake was good (bleedin' armadillo groom's cake, anyone?), the photographer was cute (yeah, I said it again), and the dancing was SO much fun. Oh, and apparently the ceremony was really nice too, but I think I was running on pure adrenaline during that part of the evening. Plus, it was great to finally go to Houston - it really *is* humid down there - and meet people from Tell City, Brandon's hometown that is just one of the strange connections illustrating how Brandon and I lead parallel lives. The weekend was so great that I have no idea how I'm going to get up and go back to work and my normal life tomorrow morning. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling that way right now.
On a side note, I'm dumb and forgot to pack my camera for the trip, so if anyone posts any pictures somewhere or wants to email some to me directly, please let me know and I'll be completely grateful.
Thanks, B & C, for throwing such a great party!! Let's do it again every five years - I'll always be around to officiate if you want to renew your vows.
And on that note, I'm going to try to wash some of the hairspray out of my hair.
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| Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
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7:19 pm - I feel the need... the need for speed.
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| Friday, April 21st, 2006
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6:15 pm - Smitten Kitten
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You guys? I am totally in love with Rhett Miller. I think Caroline and I are going to have to fight over him, and his wife is just going to have to deal with it. I admit, that the only songs I knew were Old 97's songs, but that was at least half his (long!) set. We had so much fun, dancing and singing (see this entry), but then realized how old we are when we were waiting for the bus complaining about our knees, hips and backs. And then, of course, my throat has been sore and I've been kind of hoarse all day. But it was all worth it because I love Rhett!
And yes, as Caroline said, someone was proposed to during "Question," which is a sweet idea, but just for the record, I would absolutely HATE to be proposed to in public. I'm sure some people really like the grand gesture of it all, but it's something I think is too personal to share with a bunch of strangers and (my boyfriend!) Rhett. Caroline and I joked that, no matter what she *wanted* to say, the girl would have to say yes, and then just take it back later if she didn't really want to marry him. But I would be totally fine with someone *playing* "Question" at home while he proposed to me. Of course, I might need to get a boyfriend first... (One that is not Rhett, that is).
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| Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
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4:06 pm - Random stuff from really old emails
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Remember the days when you didn't cringe every time you saw "FW" preceding a subject line in your inbox? These would be the early college years for me, and I was always entertained when someone sent me a forward of funny quotes or a silly list. Well, I was going through some old folders this afternoon, and found a stack of old emails I had printed out. Since I'm trying to cut down on excess papers in my house, I will immortalize the parts of these emails worth immortalizing here, for your reading pleasure.
Kinda Creepy:
In Back to the Future II (the worst of the three), Biff goes to the future and steals a Sports Almanac and then goes back tot he past to give it to young Biff. As we all know, young Biff was able to become very wealthy by betting on games in which he already knew the final score. In an obscure line you hear young Biff say, "Florida is going to win the World Series in 1997? Yeah, right." This movie came out in 1987 - ten years before the Marlins actually did win the World Series. And the weirdest part is that Florida didn't even have a baseball team in 1987.
[Notes: When I first got this email in 1997, I was totally wigged out. The part that totally got me was that Florida hadn't had a baseball team in 1987. Of course, now I realize that, for all I know, they were already negotiating to buy the Marlins (or, you know, however places get sports teams). Still, it's a weird coincidence that they actually did win in 1997.]
Ironic Celebrity Deaths
1. Charleton Heston - Shot by an ape cleaning its semi-automatic "hunting rifle."
2. Susan Lucci - Tripped and broke her neck while running up steps to accept her Emmy. [See how dated this is?]
3. Inappropriate because he actually did die.
4. Alanis Morisette - Killed just after winning the lottery at age 98, in a car accident during a traffic jam on her own rainy wedding day while recovering a prepaid free ride from three women who look just like her but with worse hair. [Okay, it's not even funny, and yet, I laugh.]
5. Inappropriate because she actually did die.
6. Inappropriate because he actually did die.
7. Keith Richards - Natural Causes.
8. Al Gore - Dutch Elm Disease.
9. Gallagher - Killed by Smashing Pumpkins.
10. Keanu Reeves - Brain Tumor.
[Okay, yes, the whole list is inappropriate, and not that funny, but come on - Keanu Reeves, brain tumor? You know you want to laugh a little.]
Things We Would Never Know Without the Movies (an extremely abbreviated version of the original list):
- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year. [Fugitive shout-out].
- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
- Kitchens don't need light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. [This has *always* bothered me.]
- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. [Good thing for Jack Bauer...]
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know the steps. [Hell yeah, Fame!]
And finally, the last addition to this ridiculous entry is something from an email from my friend Ryan Samul, to whom I haven't spoken since I was 19, and who I kind of forgot existed, but was, actually, quite funny. He created a list of tips to keep warm in the winter, and here is my favorite one:
"If flying over the Andes Mountains this winter season, bring along plenty of extra Paraguayan soccer players, 'just in case.'"
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| Tuesday, April 11th, 2006
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9:17 am - And in other celebrity news...
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Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had their second child over the weekend - a boy. Named Moses. Yep, Moses. Just.... why? Why, Gwynnie? I must admit, Apple has grown on me. It's not even as weird as some other recent celebrity names (Nicolas Cage, this means you). But Moses? Come on! Rich children of celebrities still make fun of each other when they get to their elite private elementary schools. I think the macrobiotic diet has finally caused her to lose her mind.
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| Monday, April 10th, 2006
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12:58 pm - I *heart* Charlize.
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Lauren just informed me that Charlize Theron has just been given an award by GLAAD because she has publicly said she refuses to marry Stuart Townsend until gay marriage is legalized in the US. I think it's wonderful that she's using her celebrity to further a good cause, and I applaud her effort, but I have to wonder if perhaps something else isn't going on here. Does anyone else think that maybe Charlize just came up with the most clever way ever to not have to marry this tool? I mean, I'm not questioning her commitment to the cause, just questioning whether that's her only motivation. Either way, kudos, Charlize.
Here's a random question, totally unrelated: Does anyone have a really good hair salon in the Boston area that they can recommend? Lauren just got a terrible color at Giacomo & Rondi in Kenmore Square and wants to get it fixed, but doesn't know where else to go. She's already eliminated Dellaria and Hair F/X, so if anyone knows of anything else, I'm sure she would really appreciate it. Thanks!
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| Sunday, March 5th, 2006
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4:35 pm - This is MY Superbowl
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That's right - it's OSCAR NIGHT! And, for the first time in years, I have seen more of the nominated films than not (in the eight big categories, at least). So, in honor of the most fabulous celebrity night of the year, I'm going to make my predictions, right out here in the open, for who will win in the major awards.
Best Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote
I didn't actually *see* Capote, but PSH has been winning so many awards for this part, plus he's an incredibly talented actor, PLUS everyone I know who has seen the performance says he deserves the awards. It's too bad for Joaquin Phoenix and David Strathairn, who both gave such amazing performances as Johnny Cash and Edward R. Murrow, that they're up against the inimitable PSH. For that matter, it's also too bad for Heath Ledger, and maybe Terence Howard (didn't see Hustle & Flow, either), but the buzz is that PSH is going to win. So, while I would be thrilled for Joaquin, David or Heath, I'll also be really happy for Philip when he wins, because I love him.
Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line
This might be the most exciting award for me because I LOVE Reese and I LOVED Walk the Line. It was probably my favorite movie of last year, and Reese was just incredible. She learned how to sing and play the autoharp, people. The au-to-harp. I didn't even know what that *was* until I saw this movie. I'm kind of sad for Charlize (nominated for North Country) because I love her too, and she was excellent in another very good movie, but she's not going to win. She already won an Oscar just a couple of years ago, and for another role in which she uglied herself up. Keira Knightly, as cute as she is, also won't win for Pride & Prejudice; and I don't really know anything about Judi Dench's performance in Mrs. Henderson Presents, but I think you could just put Judi Dench's name in the credits of a movie, not have her on the screen for a single minute, and she would get nominated. Basically, Judi Dench is just a gimme nomination, so she won't win either. Reese's biggest competition is Felicity Huffman for Transamerica, and I must admit it was a fantastic performance. But Transamerica was such a small, not to mention controversial, picture, whereas Walk the Line was a highly-anticipated epic, a really wonderful movie, and it certainly deserves an award. Since Joaquin isn't going to get it, that leaves us with Reese. Go Reese!
Best Supporting Actor: George Clooney for Syriana
This category is a real wild card this year, with George Clooney (Syriana), Paul Giamatti (Cinderella Man) and Jake Gyllenhaal (Brokeback Mountain) all winning previous awards. What I'm saying is, there is no clear winner among these five very talented actors. Matt Dillon has a huge body of work, including many good performances, and it's possible the Academy will want to award him for that, as well as throw a bone to Crash. However, Crash has a good chance at a couple of other awards, and George's and Jake's performances are far more recent than Matt's. The same could possibly be said for William Hurt's body of work, but no one really cares about A History of Violence, so I think he's the least likely to win. Jake is young and was arguably the weaker actor in Brokeback Mountain, so since Heath Ledger isn't going to win, and Jake has plenty of years ahead of him (not to mention a lot of promise), I think he's only third in terms of likeliness. So I think this award really comes down to George and Paul Giamatti. Paul is an amazing actor, a nice guy, and has never won an award; but George is nominated three times this year, and this is his only realistic shot at a win. I think the Academy will recognize that, and give him the Oscar.
Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz for The Constant Gardner
Another wild card category. The Academy loves to award newcomers in this category (think Anna Paquin, Marisa Tomei, Tatum O'Neal), which bodes well for Amy Adams (Junebug) and Michelle Williams (Brokeback Mountain). Frances McDormand (North Country) is such a talented actress, and an Academy favorite, but I think North Country is the ugly step-child of this year's Oscars, and she already *has* an Oscar, so I don't think she'll win tonight. I think it will come down to Catherine Keener (Capote) and Rachel Weisz (The Constant Gardner), and though Capote has a lot of buzz surrounding it, none of that buzz is for Catherine herself. Rachel has won all of the previous awards for her role in The Constant Gardner, so I'm giving the edge to her. Now, I saw this movie, and I thought the movie was boring and her performance was unremarkable, and that both Frances and Michelle gave much better performances (didn't see Junebug or Capote), but I love Rachel, so if they want to toss her an Oscar for an under-par performance, I'll be okay with it.
Best Original Screenplay: Crash
The nominees are Crash, Good Night and Good Luck, Match Point, The Squid and the Whale and Syriana. No one saw Match Point or The Squid and the Whale, though I heard both were excellent. There's a small chance they Academy will reward Woody Allen for returning to the land of *good* cinema with a statue for Match Point, but I doubt it. Syriana, while interesting, was kind of confusing and certainly not the best work from these particular writers. Good Night and Good Luck was excellent, and would certainly be worthy of this award, but I don't think Crash will win Best Pictures, so this is the best place to honor a movie that was actually very good.
Best Adapted Screenplay: Brokeback Mountain
The nominees are Brokeback, Capote, The Constant Gardner, A History of Violence and Munich. I don't think the reason Capote is being heralded as such a good movie is because of the screenplay. Like I said earlier, The Constant Gardner was really boring. Once again, no one saw A History of Violence or Munich, so they're out too. Brokeback has been the front runner in this category, not to mention has won other awards at other ceremonies, so I would be shocked if it didn't win.
Best DIrector: Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain
This year is special because it's the first year in a long time where the Best PIcture nominees correspond directly with the Best Director nominees. Even when they don't correspond exactly, it's usually a question whether the person who wins Best Director will be the person who directed the Best Picture winner. After all, could a movie really be the "best picture" if the director hadn't done the best job of the year? Hard to say. Steven Spielberg (Munich) is an Academy favorite, but no one saw Munich, and it feels sort of like a Judi Dench gimme nomination; so I think he's out. George Clooney did an excellent job with Good Night & Good Luck, and I think he's a really talented director (go see either GN&GL or Confessions of a Dangerous Mine) but I think they'll be reluctant to give a directing award to George Clooney at this stage in his career. No one has said a word about Bennett Miller for Capote, and in fact, I just now learned who actually directed Capote. He might have a tiny chance, since Capote has several nominations and so far (probably) only one win, but, like I said, no one has even heard of him. I think it will really come down to Paul Haggis for Crash and Ang Lee, and I think Ang has the edge (plus, he's such a nice, cute man). Both of these movies deal with controversial topics, but Brokeback was much less preachy. Furthermore, *everything* about Brokeback, from the acting to the cinematography to the script, etc., was just wonderful. The director is the one person responsible for the movie as a whole, and as a whole, Brokeback was a better movie than Crash. It's possible they'll give Brokeback the Best Picture and thus give Paul Haggis Best Director, but I think this year those two awards are going to correspond in favor of Ang Lee, which means...
Best Picture: Brokeback Mountain
Look, I've seen Brokeback, Crash and Good Night & Good Luck, and loved them all. I've heard amazing things about Capote, and have no doubt it deserves to be in the top five movies of last year. I have my doubts about Munich, and I'm still bitter that Walk the Line didn't get a Best Picture nomination, but a trusted advisor told me Munich was good, and it's not going to win anyway, so I'll just let it go. I guess what I'm saying is, any of these pictures is worthy of an award, but only Brokeback really stands out as the *best* movie of the year. Like I just said, it was really the whole package, and it's been winning all of the other best picture awards, so I'm really looking forward to that final envelope.
Other things to be excited about:
1. The red carpet (duh) - MINUS Joan and Melissa
2. Jon Stewart (double duh)
3. Dolly Parton (I LOVE her) is nominated for best song, and it's her first time at the Oscars (awwww)
4. Celebrity gossip fodder
Overall, I think I'm really excited about the Oscars this year because (a) I'm still unemployed, (b) I've seen so many of these movies and (c) after the incredibly underwhelming 2004 movies, I'm thrilled that 2005 was a return to the time when movies can truly entertain and inspire, and I'm looking forward to celebrating that.
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| Saturday, February 25th, 2006
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12:27 am - What have I been doing with my time?
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So I've been going on these non-job-interviews, which basically means that my parents talk to their friends, who put me in touch with lawyers in Chicago, either directly or indirectly. The theory behind all of this is that if enough people know me and know that I'm looking for a job, then eventually something will turn up. It's a good theory, but having done it several times now, I'm starting to think that this is one of those theories that ultimately proves false. I mean, it can't hurt for me to go out and do this, and all it really costs me is a ride on the El and a couple of hours, but it still might actually be more trouble that it's worth.
Since non-job-interviews are the only kind of job interviews I'm getting these days (except for a *really* ridiculous one last week), Caroline and I have started tossing around the idea of starting our own firm. I think we originally thought of it as a sort of joke or pipe dream, but whenever I mention it to someone, expecting them to tell me we're crazy, they never do. We've done a little research, and the more we learn and the more time passes with nothing else turning up, the more invested in the idea I become. So who knows, in a few short months we may be not only esquires, but also partners at a law firm, all before the age of 27.
In other news, tonight Caroline and Brandon and I had dinner at Pizza Rustica, which has pretty good pizza, but I will probably be avoiding the paninis in the future. Then I tagged along with Caroline to celebrate her friend Teal's birthday. We were going to skip the first bar because it sounded expensive (I'll admit it - we're cheap), but we ultimately decided that in order to meet up with everyone else, we would have to suck it up and go to the first bar. We ended up having a good time, had one good drink each, and were home before 11 (reference Caroline's entry from last night about how old we are for being tired after watching the Olympics until 11). And now this old lady is going to bed.
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| Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
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11:28 pm - So I'm hardly prolific...
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Okay, yes it's been five months since I updated this journal. And I logged in fully intending to write an entry, but the exhaustion of women's figure skating just hit me, so I've changed my mind. Instead, I'll just say hi to everyone, and that I hope you're all doing well. Maybe I'll log in again in another five months or so. Bye!
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| Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
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6:32 pm - More Lost
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For those of you who are crazy tv fans like I am, here's the most interesting theory I've EVER heard about Lost:
http://forums.go.com/abc/primetime/lost/thread?threadID=560350&forumStart=0
Also, people have been pointing out weird coincidences to me all day. For example - Sarah wiggling her toes after the spinal surgery was reminiscent of Locke wiggling his toes after the plane crash. Also, in the stadium, Desmond told Jack, "See you in the afterlife." This is exactly the same thing Locke's biological father told him before they both went into surgery for the kidney transplant last season.
Other things I failed to notice last night: The guy in the hatch injects something into himself in the beginning; the cursed numbers are printed on the bottle. (Claire remembered at the end of last season that when she was kidnapped that "the others" injected her baby with something, in vitro. Coincidence? I think not.) There's a painting on the wall in the tunnel of the hatch that has 108 on it. The sum of the numbers added together is 108. The word "Quarantine" was printed on the *inside* of the hatch door, which means the people inside were healthy, but the outside island was quarantined. Finally, apparently there is some lock that happens to be a government-issued lock in the hatch, indicating that maybe the whole thing was some government experiment.
In other news, Lauren and I are huge losers for getting this deep into Lost theory. Oh well.
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| Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
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9:11 pm - Lost!
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Finally, something good to talk about (for me). Warning: I'm going to speak explicitly about tonight's episode of Lost, so if you haven't seen it, don't read yet. And don't worry - not a full recap; just my thoughts.
First, excellent beginning. Well done, JJ. The whole time I was thinking, "Is it Jack, is it Locke, is it Boone (God, *please* don't bring Boone back)?" NO - it's some weird dude LIVING in the hatch. With a computer and everything.
Okay, I must gripe about Kate's button-down shirt. That's the same shirt she was wearing when they went to the Black Rock last season, and the same shirt that Arzt used to wrap the old, sweating dynamite. So the shirt would be covered in nitroglycerin. Are we supposed to believe that she's going to wear a shirt covered in a toxic substance? Continuity, people!
Walt: The scariest kid on earth, whether he's actually there or not.
Isn't anyone on that damn island curious as to why Hurley was in the psych ward in the first place? Instead of just assuming he's crazy because he thinks the numbers are cursed, maybe someone could ASK him what was wrong with him.
Question: Was Jack a member of The Monkees back when he was a young doctor? What up with the hair? I refuse to believe that even Julie Bowen (blech) would fall in love with Jack when his hair looked like that.
The guy living in the hatch is very Jame Gumb, and those of you who know me know I love me some Silence of the Lambs. I really expected that when Jack finally got down and got into the "living quarters" that he would find Kate and Locke roller skating around to the weird '70s music. That would have been awesome. Kind of a cross between Silence of the Lambs and Boogie Nights (though I certainly don't need to see Kate naked; or Heather Graham, for that matter, but that ship has sailed).
Finally... JJ, you're killing me. I sit through an entire hour show, the season premiere, and you don't even give me A CLUE as to what happened to the people who were on the raft that was blown up by the psycho pirates and are now stranded in the middle of the ocean with no boat and no scary kid? COME ON!
Overall, though, a good season premiere. It gave me just enough to be curious about next week. Unfortunately, though (for Lost), next week is the season premiere of Veronica Mars, and that just has to take precedent. Oh well, there's always TWoP.
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| Friday, September 16th, 2005
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9:44 am - The Creek
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Is it wrong how much I still love Dawson's Creek? One would think that I would get bored watching it two hours a day, almost every day, all summer long. One would be wrong. It's mostly Pacey I love, but somehow that is enough to keep the love going, no matter how many times I've seen the entire series. When my friend Sarah was unemployed, she used to call me and give me a play-by-play of the days' episodes (even though I had already seen them when it was actually ON tv). Don't worry, I'm not going to do that here. My point is, it has become so hard for me to sit still for more than an hour these days, so it's nice to have a full two hours in the morning to just relax before I start my oh-so-busy days. And I really do love Pacey.
And thank you all for the lovely birthday wishes! I had a great day.
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| Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
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5:15 pm - Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!
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Yes, that's right kids, today is my birthday. Not to brag or anything. And quite a day it's been. The lovely Ms. Caroline Tang called me right at midnight, and the calls have been rolling in ever since. Sadly, the package my daddy sent me failed to arrive on time, so no actual presents for me today. I think my poor dad was more upset about it than I was, though. I spent the better part of the day sitting around in my pajamas watching tv, eating junk food and checking the mail (that was two hours late and failed to contain any packages and only one card), and finally cleaned myself up a couple of hours ago. Now I'm biding my time, waiting 'til I have to leave to pick up my cousin John so that he and Travis can take me to stuff myself full of yummy Mexican food and margaritas. Let's be honest - more margaritas than food. So all in all, except for the whole "being 26 now" thing, a pretty good birthday.
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| Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
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12:24 am - Homecoming
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I drove home to St. Louis today in anticipation of Caroline and Brandon's arrival. Only two more days - yay! It's amazing the difference in weather between Chicago and St. Louis. When I left Chicago at 12:30, it was a gorgeous, sunny, 72 degrees. When I arrived in St. Louis around 5:15, it was a sticky, humid, hazy 88 degrees. It was especially fun sitting in my non-air-conditioned car in rush hour traffic. But summer is almost over, and then I'll go back to not caring whether I have A/C in the car or not.
Every-time I plan on having friends come visit me at home, it spurs my dad to fix up the house a little. Brink (the boy) came to visit over Christmas break before we both went to Kansas City for a wedding, and my dad cleaned out the basement and threw/gave away boxes and boxes full of stuff. Now that Caroline and Brandon are coming, he's been rearranging the furniture and he hung a few new things on the walls. It's actually really cute.
Another thing I love about St. Louis? Thin crust pizza and frozen custard. We had both for dinner tonight.
That's basically my news for now. No more sightings of the crazy guy in my building. Maybe he finally got the hint.
And, lastly, here's the quote for the day (or, until I post again): This is the same technology NASA used when they faked the Apollo moon landings!
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| Wednesday, August 17th, 2005
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2:53 pm - Mr. Heckles 2.0
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So, much like Monica and Rachel, I have a creepy guy who lives in my building. Instead of living directly below me, he lives two floors up; and although he's not creepy in the same way, I kind of think my creepy neighbor would win the creepy race. He's just so ridiculous that I have to write it down.
I blame my dad, really. He's one of those people who has to talk to absolutely EVERYONE (much to the chagrin of Emily (my sister) and me). So, the day we're moving me into the building, my dad befriends John (a.k.a., Creepy Creeperson or Mr. Heckles 2.0), the old guy - and when I say old, I mean he has to be around 70, who lives on the 5th floor. For the first two months I lived here, I would see him around the building or outside every once in a while, and he was friendly, in a neighborly or grandpa-like way. Fine. I mean, he pinched my cheek a couple of times, causing extreme flashes of rage, but I was willing to let it go.
Then, about two weeks ago, everything flipped upside down. I bumped into him on my way out (and I was _clearly_ on the way out), and he asked if I wanted to "see that Tom Cruise War of the Worlds movie some afternoon." Note, that at the time he originally asked, he made some comment, in what I took to be a complete joke, that it wasn't a date and he knew I have a boyfriend (I never told him I had a boyfriend, but I certainly wasn't going to deny it at that point). I basically said, whatever, I have to go, and I figured nothing would ever come of it. Which... was unfortunately totally wrong.
Last Friday around five, I was sitting in my apartment, waiting to leave to be over at my friends' apartment (Charlotte and Travis) around six to hang out and have dinner; and then someone buzzed me from the lobby. I had no clue who it could be, since anyone I know would never be spontaneous enough to just show up. Of course, it was Creepy. He was buzzing me from the lobby to ask me if I wanted to "see that movie one day next week?" Me: "What day?" Him: "Thursday." I thought about it, and decided that if I said no, he would just pick another day. Also, at the time I thought he was just a lonely old man and it was just an afternoon movie. So I said yes (dun dun dunnnnn). Then he said he was on his way to the store, but he would stop by later. I said fine, thinking that by the time he came back I would already be gone. Wrong again. He came by about 20 minutes later, sort of pushed his way into my apartment and got comfortable on the couch. Anyone who knows how protective I am of my personal space will know how much this bothered me. But don't worry - it gets worse.
He stayed in my apartment FOR AN HOUR, just telling me all about himself. Somehow along the way, an afternoon movie turned into dinner and a movie (I'm not really sure how he did that on me). Also, in the course of the conversation, he managed to reveal what a bigot he is (he doesn't like either "the blacks" or "the Hispanics" - his words, NOT mine - who live in the building, and he has a special place in his heart of hate for gay men, and you can just imagine what he calls them). But the worst part of ALL (so far) was that he felt that this meet and greet was the appropriate time to tell me all about his recent sex-capades. No, I'm not kidding. My seventy year old neighbor barged into my house and told me all about his SEX LIFE. Which he so eloquently referred to as "screwing." ARRGH!!!
After an hour, he said, "Well, I've told you all about myself, tell me a little about you." I said, "I"m 25, I have a brother and a sister who are 22, and I'm late for dinner at my friend's apartment." This got him to leave finally. I went over to Charlotte and Travis's, we had a good laugh at my expense (I must admit, I love laughing at myself), and they basically told me he was a lonely old man and totally harmless, which I kind of agreed with... on Friday.
But then Sunday came. Around 12:45 someone knocked on my door. I had just showered, and still had wet hair and everything, and I knew it was Creepy (since it's not like I have all kinds of visitors, especially the kind that don't need to buzz from the lobby), and I decided I just wouldn't answer the door. Then, an hour later - on the dot - he knocked again. I ignored it again. At that point, he immediately went down to the lobby and buzzed my apartment. All I could think was OMG, I have a geriatric stalker. He knocked on my door every hour from 12:45 until 4:45. I thought it was over, but then at around 9:30 he buzzed me from the lobby. AGAIN. And this time it was a really long and loud buzz, like he was being really aggressive with the button. By this point in time he had lost any sympathy I ever had with him.
Oh, but it's not over yet. Monday morning I went to run some errands, and I found a note on my door, asking me to call him when I got home the night before. When I eventually called later on Monday (mostly to cancel Thursday's "date" (blech), rather than actually see what he wanted), he told me it was no big deal, it's just that there was something he wanted to watch on ESPN on Sunday night and he doesn't have cable. Oh. My. God. I realize that not everyone is as protective of their tv-watching as I am, but come ON. Like I was just going to let him come in here and hang out and control my tv? What the fuck? So then I canceled Thursday, and he took it really well. He just said, "Okay, fine, just let me know when you want to do it," and I said, "Okay, BYE!" thinking how totally ridiculous it was that I had to cancel plans with this person.
No, not quite the end. Monday afternoon, around 5, another knock on my door. I answered it, and Creepy wanted to know if I wanted to have dinner that evening, since I couldn't go out on Thursday. I told him that I already had plans (total lie). He said, "You're busy every night," like he was _accusing_ me of something. I put on my best bitch-face and said, "I'm actually a really busy girl." That got him to leave (or, probably the bitch-face did), and that's the last I've heard from him, but I wouldn't be surprised if this saga continues later.
Wow, long entry. Now I need a nap or a snack or something.
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12:28 am - Awwww
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Thanks, guys, for being so sweet! I'm super-excited to be here. I've also spent an inordinate amount of time trying to make my journal pretty. Somehow, in the process, I managed to break the "M" key on my keyboard. Again. Honestly, this will be the third one. How often does the letter "m" come up anyway? (That sounds like a Sesame Street question).
I had good intentions to go through everyone's journal, but it's late and I'm just too tired, now. My busy days of reading, going to the gym and watching TV really take a lot out of me.
But before I go, here's the quote of the day: For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.
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